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You Shall Not Commit Adultery

You must not commit adultery EXODUS 20:14 NLT

We are created for faithfulness but experience the pain of betrayal

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” MATTHEW 19:4-6 NLT

What is adultery? Having a sexual relationship with someone who is not your spouse.

Why is adultery prohibited?

Deep intimacy requires more than shallow faithfulness.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 CORINTHIANS 6:12-20 NIV

Deep intimacy creates a deep oneness.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. EPHESIANS 5:31-32 NLT

Why are we tempted to commit adultery?

We haven’t worked through our differences so we act out.

We construct an idealized vision of love, sex, and marriage.

We fall into the trap of addiction and destructive habits.

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. MATTHEW 5:27-28 NLT

We are not saved by our faithfulness but by the faithfulness of Jesus Christ.

Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” JOHN 8:10-11 NLT

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments to slow down, offering to Jesus any burdens from your day. Invite God into this, asking Him to help you be real with yourself and Him during this time. God is a God of intimacy, and yet He knows the feelings of betrayal better than any of us. As you consider times in your life when you may have felt betrayed by someone else, take these hurts to Him. If you have betrayed someone else (a spouse or a friend), confess this to God now, and ask Him to show you His love and forgiveness to you in this space. Next, prayerfully examine your habits and thought patterns. Which ones are destroying intimacy in your life? Are there any that you are using to self-medicate, covering up internal pain? Bring these to Jesus right now, and ask Him to give you freedom from these, showing you the version of yourself that He sees as a result of freedom in these areas. Finally, ask God to show you any steps you need to take to experience a deeper level of intimacy with Him, and others. Write your reflections in the space below, and visit sandalschurch.com/help if you need someone to talk to.

Discussion Questions

  1. PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin by completing the Personal Reflection Guide, (link found on the top of sermon notes). Use this time to examine the ways you have experienced faithfulness and/or betrayal. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
  2. REAL WITH SELF: When you consider your relationships, who do you feel the deepest level of connection to (other than your spouse)? What qualities about this relationship have developed that level of deep connection?
  3. REAL WITH OTHERS: Think of a time when you had to work through differences in a meaningful relationship. What helped you work through these differences together? What do you wish you would have done differently?
  4. REAL WITH GOD: Read 1 CORINTHIANS 6.10-20 NIV. As you read this together, consider the incredibly high value that God places on your body. What feelings come to mind? How can this inspire you to reflect God’s holiness, goodness, and love in your home, workplace, and relationships?
  5. REAL WITH GOD: We have all experienced betrayal, but none more than God. When you consider this, and that we are not saved by our own faithfulness but by the faithfulness of Jesus, how does this affect your perspective of yourself or God? Relieved? Pressure? Other? What makes you feel this way?
  6. TAKE ACTION: If you haven’t done so already, set aside a few minutes each day this week to do the “Be Faithful” Bible Reading Plan (found in the “Library” tab on the app). Use this time to examine your habits, your experiences in faithfulness and betrayal, and your embracing God’s view of your body. Tell someone in your group about this experience after you go through it.