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What to Do With Your Anger

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. MATTHEW 5:21-24 NIV

What does Jesus invite me to do with my anger?

Be real about the anger that resides in my own heart

In your anger do not sin… EPHESIANS 4:26 NIV

Understand my anger can either become a constructive gift or a destructive force

Anger as a constructive gift addresses what is wrong and restores God’s purpose

So he made a whip of cords and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. JOHN 2:15 NIV

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. MATTHEW 5:22 NIV

Anger as a destructive force follows this cycle:

Express my anger in prayer within the loving presence of God

Let the bountiful table set before them become a snare and their prosperity become a trap. Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see, and make their bodies shake continually. Pour out your fury on them; consume them with your burning anger. PSALM 69:22-24 NLT

My anger is often revealing a belief I’m holding connected to my pride or my pain

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. EPHESIANS 4:31-32 NIV

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Go to a quiet place that will help you become calm in your emotions and clear in your thinking. Ask God to help you hear what He wants to say to you during this time of reflection. When you sense you are ready, pray that He will guide your feelings and thoughts. Ask God to help you discern any anger that you have in your heart towards yourself, someone else, or some other thing. Listen to your thoughts and feelings as you wait. What surfaced? Discuss with Him what they reveal about what you believe and how this anger has hurt you and your relationship with Him. What seems to be fueling this anger? Ask God to guide you in dealing with this anger and any specific healthy actions you can take. Now, spend some time thinking about Jesus’ forgiveness for your sins. What are your thoughts and feelings? How does His forgiveness help you see the person or thing you are angry with differently? Pray that He will guide and empower you to take an action this week to get rid of your anger and live with compassion, kindness, and peace. Thank Him for how you will be transformed through this experience.

Discussion Questions

Choose a couple of the following questions from each section that best fit your

group. Or have everyone read the questions, choosing which one(s) from each section

they feel led to respond to.

  1. START HERE: What emotions come to the surface most often in your life?
  2. START HERE: How would you describe the degree of anger in your life? (cold, warm, simmering, boiling, consuming fire, etc.)
  3. START HERE: Are you more likely to express or suppress your anger?
  4. KEEP GOING: What have you been angry about recently?
  5. KEEP GOING: Read John 2:15 (NLT). Has anger been more destructive or constructive in your life? How so?
  6. KEEP GOING: Read Matthew 5:21-24 (NLT). How does unresolved anger affect your relationship with God and with people?
  7. KEEP GOING: What is fueling your anger?
  8. LIVE IT OUT: What’s one situation where anger keeps tripping you up? How could you handle it differently with God’s help?
  9. LIVE IT OUT: If you’ve experienced trauma from someone else’s anger, ask your group to pray over you, inviting God’s love to heal you.
  10. LIVE IT OUT: Read Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT). What needs to change in your life for you to live from a place of forgiveness?