But God’s anger was kindled because he went, and the angel of the Lord took his stand in the way as his adversary. Now he was riding on the donkey, and his two servants were with him. And the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road, with a drawn sword in his hand. And the donkey turned aside out of the road and went into the field. And Balaam struck the donkey, to turn her into the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on either side. And when the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she pushed against the wall and pressed Balaam’s foot against the wall. So he struck her again. Then the angel of the Lord went ahead and stood in a narrow place, where there was no way to turn either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey with his staff.
Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” And the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it my habit to treat you this way?” And he said, “No.”
Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, with his drawn sword in his hand. And he bowed down and fell on his face. And the angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to oppose you because your way is perverse before me. The donkey saw me and turned aside before me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, surely just now I would have killed you and let her live.”
Then Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know that you stood in the road against me.”NUMBERS 22:22-34 ESV

I must get the other story

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. JAMES 1:19 NIV
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. PROVERBS 18:13-17 ESV
On the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses the one who is to die shall be put to death; a person shall not be put to death on the evidence of one witness. DEUTERONOMY 17:6 ESV
Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. HEBREWS 12:15 NLT
The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. PROVERBS 20:5 ESV

Questions to ask others when there is conflict:

● Tell me what happened? How did you experience me? What did you hear me saying?
● Is everything okay with you? Is there something going on that I don’t know about?
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. PROVERBS 15:28 ESV

Questions to ask God when you feel upset:

● God, why am I really upset right now? God, what emotion is really behind this?
● God, what lie am I believing? God, what does your truth say about me?
And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the crowd making a commotion, he said, “Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him. But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl arose. MATTHEW 9:23-25 ESV

I must choose to overlook offenses

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. PROVERBS 19:11 ESV
The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 1 CORINTHIANS 6:7 NIV
For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. PROVERBS 26:20 ESV
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. PROVERBS 20:3 ESV

I must keep short accounts

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. PROVERBS 28:13 ESV
Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge… MATTHEW 5:25 NIV
The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. PROVERBS 15:31 ESV

Community Group Discussion Guide

1. When was the last time you “ran into the fire” with someone or sat in a relational mess until it was worked out?
2. Read Proverbs 15:28. When you are in relational conflict, do you tend to think before you speak or are you quick to react? How is your approach working out for you?
3. Read Proverbs 18:13-17. In what specific ways has listening helped you resolve relational conflict? How has not listening fueled it?
4. Read Proverbs 28:13. Why do you think so many people buy into the lie that hiding our mistakes will help us when true healing is found in confession?
5. Read Proverbs 19:11. What current relational offenses do you need to overlook?
6. Read Hebrews 12:15. Where are you currently holding onto a root of bitterness and what can we as a group do to help you remove it?

Personal Reflection Guide

Find a place to be present with God. Take a few minutes to simply be still and talk with God. Take a moment to think about conflict; it occurs whether we like it or not; it is part of life. Do you see all conflict as negative? Now think about a particular moment of conflict that has arisen in your life. Do you find yourself responding in defensiveness, anger or blame? Conflict is natural and God is often on both sides – your side and the side of the other person with whom you have locked horns. He wants to work in both people to help bring about understanding and resolution. As you think about resolving your area of conflict, what piece of hurt or anger blocks you from being safe rather than defensive? Take a moment in this space to view that current conflict as a way to be honest with yourself concerning your response. Ask God for the insight you need to understand your patterns of response. When you are ready, give God that thing that is blocking you from peace. As you go through your week, try approaching conflict with a different response. Even when you feel like responding wrongly, God’s word can empower you to respond rightly. Consider writing down some of scriptures from the sermon that will help guide and empower you in these areas.