This is the account of Jacob and his family. When Joseph was seventeen years old, he often tended his father’s flocks. He worked for his half brothers, the sons of his father’s wives Bilhah and Zilpah. But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad things his brothers were doing. Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him…When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance. As he approached, they made plans to kill him. GENESIS 37:2-4, 18 NLT

Hurt people hurt people

Resentment multiplies the hurt

Since Joseph was governor of all Egypt and in charge of selling grain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came. When they arrived, they bowed before him with their faces to the ground. Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where are you from?” he demanded. “From the land of Canaan,” they replied. “We have come to buy food.” GENESIS 42:6-7 NLT

The way back to the table is through forgiveness

But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said…But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them. GENESIS 50:15, 19-21 NLT Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. EPHESIANS 4:31-32 NLT

Forgiveness…

Does not make what happened ok

see ISAIAH 5:20

Can be one-way

see LUKE 23:34

Is costly, but is not optional

see MATTHEW 18:23-35 and MATTHEW 6:14-15

Is a process

see MATTHEW 18:21-22

Moves us from victimhood to victory

see GENESIS 50:22

And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. MATTHEW 6:12 NLT

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Community Group Discussion Guide

1. What physical scars do you have on your body and what stories do they tell about you and your adventures?
2. Read Genesis 37:18-28. In what ways has a relational hurt from your past affected your ability to connect with people in the present?
3. Read Genesis 42:6-7. As you think about the past hurts in your life, what is it that can make resentment and revenge more appealing than forgiveness?
4. Read Matthew 6:14-15. Why do you think Jesus made forgiveness (letting go of resentment and releasing your judgment to God) mandatory instead of making it optional or case by case?
5. Read Genesis 45:1-15. In what specific ways have you seen forgiveness heal the hurts of your past and make a way for the relationships of the future?
6. Who do you need to begin to forgive this week and how can we help?

Personal Reflection Guide

Find a place to spend some alone time with God to dig a little deeper into your heart’s response to the message. When you think of your own wounds, are there any incidents or events that immediately come to mind? Do you find your heart bitter, sad or neutral? Be honest as you assess your feelings toward the pain you remember. How have those wounds interfered with your current relationships? Unhealed (and unforgiven) pain will always hinder us. Jesus was highly relational and he was also rejected, forsaken, betrayed, and so much more. Since Jesus also forgave, ask for his help in offering forgiveness no matter how deep and painful your wounds are. Give yourself permission to cry out to him, acknowledging how much it hurts, yet also relying on Jesus for the power to forgive. Consider seeking out a trusted friend or mentor who can help you along this journey. Close by thanking God for your time together, and ask Jesus to make his presence known to you as you partner with him to work for total healing from your pain.