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Understanding Why God Says No to Our Prayers

In order to understand God, we must first be able to see God.

And they came to Jericho. And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” And Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.” And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. And Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way. MARK 10:46-52 ESV

We don’t ask Jesus

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. MATTHEW 7:7-8 ESV

Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. JOHN 16:24 ESV

But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” ACTS 3:6 ESV

We don’t have faith

And (JESUS) could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief. MARK 6:5-6 NLT

My miracles are limited by my faith.

We are asking for something that is not good

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! MATTHEW 7:9-11 ESV

We ask with selfish motives

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives. JAMES 4:3 ESV

Praying for someone else can do two things:

We have unconfessed sin in our lives

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. JAMES 5:16 ESV

God has a different plan

And (JESUS) withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” LUKE 22:41-42 ESV

And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. LUKE 22:43 ESV

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments to slow down, releasing any burdens from the day, and inviting God into this time. Ask him to help reveal more of himself to you, and to help you be real with yourself during this time. Begin by asking Jesus to reveal how he is “for” you. Confess any areas where you have doubted his goodness in your life, or have questioned his heart toward you. Be honest about these areas, and ask Jesus, if you need it, to be reminded of his good heart toward you. Next, examine your heart and its relationship with others in your life. Are there people in your life who get in the way of your faith, perhaps by their words, actions, or subtle attitudes toward you and toward Jesus? Be honest here, and ask God to help you see with clarity those who stand in the way of your faith, as well as those who encourage you in your faith. Ask God to grow your desire to care more about him than you care about the opinions of others. Thank him for those in your life who help grow your faith. Finally, are there any areas where you feel Jesus might be inviting you to pray with a greater level of faith and perseverance? Confess any areas that might feel vulnerable here, and ask God to grow your faith as you persevere in prayer. Write down any reflections from this time in the space below, sharing with your group if you feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions

  1. PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin group time by doing the Personal Reflection Guide (found on the front page of the notes). Use this time to dig deeper into your own journey of faith and trust in Jesus. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
  2. OPENING QUESTION: Have you ever felt used in a relationship? How did that feel? What qualities differentiate a healthy relationship from one in which you’re being used?
  3. REAL WITH SELF: In what ways have you tended to use Jesus, focusing on the gift more than the giver? What would a healthier relationship with him look like? How might that affect your life?
  4. REAL WITH GOD: Have you ever prayed for something that you later found out wasn’t good and are now thankful God said no to? Is there anything you are praying for in your life currently that might also fit into that category?
  5. REAL WITH OTHERS: Share a time when God said no to your prayers but you experienced his miraculous power and strength instead. How can living out of that type of strength bring glory to Jesus in our relationships in our workplace, in our families, and in our world?
  6. TAKE ACTION: Read James 5:16 NLT. Pastor Matt said that demons are like rats: they keep coming back if you don’t take out the trash. Are there sins you need to confess or habits you need to change so you can experience God’s work in your life? If appropriate, confess these to the group right now, or tell them who can talk to this week to begin the process of healing. Pray for each other, and follow up next week to ask how that process is going.