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The Kind of Love You Need!

I need a love that can listen

Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers. Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. Proverbs 31:2-3 NIV

Love must listen because love is learned

Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? Proverbs 20:6 NIV

Proverbs has 31 chapters, it mentions love 36 times

Love must be taught

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children. Titus 2:4 NLT

The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. 1 Timothy 1:5 NLT

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT

Un-loving behavior must be corrected

I correct and discipline everyone I love. Revelation 3:19 NLT

Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Colossians 3:19 NLT

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24 NLT

Romantic love must be directed

My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel… For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it… Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved. Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body. Proverbs 5:1-11 NLT

Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:15-19 NLT

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

In the spirit of listening, find a place free of distractions where you can simply listen: to God, to your own thoughts, to the words he has for you. Think of two people in your life who you consider to be good listeners. What makes them good listeners? Are they also people who love well, and how do you feel when they listen to you and love you well? With these ideas of listening and loving in mind, read Deuteronomy 6:1-9. Note how many times the people of Israel are asked to “hear” or “listen” to the commands of God. Also note that this passage is all about how God is teaching his people to love him and others and instructing them to teach their children to do the same. If God is our ultimate example of agape love, to the point where he sent his own son to die for us, how can you better listen to his message of love? How do you react when he, or someone he is using in your life, corrects you? This week, consider a person God may be putting in your path who needs someone to listen to them and love them well. Likewise, ask God to give you a heart that humbly listens when you need to be corrected and to help you love more like him, selflessly and unconditionally.​

Discussion Questions

  1. What stood out to you in your personal Bible reading time this week? What have you learned about God or yourself so far?
  2. Why do you think listening plays such an important role in experiencing love with someone?
  3. Read 1 Timothy 1:5. Seeing that love must be taught, where did you learn how to love well?
  4. Who are you currently teaching to love well and what are you proactively doing to teach them or who can you begin to teach?
  5. Read Proverbs 5:1-11. What are some of the consequences for sex outside of marriage listed in this passage and in what ways do they or do they not match what you see in the real world today?
  6. Read Proverbs 5:15-20. God is passionate about how he wants you to experience erotic love. What is one thing you need to start or stop doing to honor God with your sexuality?