The Helper

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 ESV

“As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 NLT

The Helper…

Reflects: God’s heart for service
- “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 NLT
Underlying Emotion: Shame
- For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” Romans 10:11 ESV
Motivation: To feel loved
Need: To be needed
Focus: Needs of others
- “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” Romans 12:13 ESV
Core sin: Pride
- “You have been deceived by your own pride!” Obadiah 1:3 NLT
Avoids: Own needs
- And they said, “The Lord has need of it.” Luke 19:34 ESV
Fear: Being unworthy

How a Helper can be real with Self:

It’s good to serve God and my family
- “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.” Romans 12:11 NLT
I must also spend time with God and my family
- “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 ESV
Be aware how my pride affects the way I see myself and others

How a Helper can be real with Others:

Declare that I have needs and that is okay
- “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 ESV
Ask for help
Confess the sin of pride

How a Helper can be real with God:

Who I am comes from God’s love, not from what I do
God will help if I ask
- “O LORD, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.” Psalm 86:5 NLT
- God help me to ask for help
- God help me to see needs from your perspective
- God help me to depend on you

How to love a Helper:

Notice and thank them for their service
Have them name one thing you can do for them
Invite them over when you don’t need something done
Ask them to stop and tell you how their time with God and family is going

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments to still yourself. Perhaps it’s a few deep breaths; maybe it’s time to just sit in mental silence for a bit. When you are ready, invite God into this time. Ask him to help reveal more of himself to you as you dive deeper into who you are, how he has made you, and the burdens you carry. Without all of the things that we do, the responsibilities and titles, many of us feel unworthy of being seen, of having others pay attention simply to us. As Mary sat before Jesus, she was truly seen as herself, without doing anything. Who are you without all of the “identities'' you carry? Take a moment to release your identities as a husband or father, boss or employee, wife or mother, single person, daughter or son. Set aside all of your roles until all that’s left is you. When you are in that space, allow yourself to be vulnerable before Christ: Imagine yourself like Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus. Visualize Jesus truly seeing Mary as herself (and nothing more). Now picture yourself in Mary’s place, being truly seen by Jesus. How does he respond? (Remember that Jesus never condemns, so if the shame seems to increase, that’s not coming from Jesus.) What does this bring up in you? Take a few minutes to journal through this experience below, sharing with your group what this experience was like, if you feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions

LEADER’S NOTE: Take the first 5-10 minutes of group time to have everyone do the Personal Reflection Guide (linked on the sermon notes). You may want to set a timer, play some soft music, etc. Once you notice people finishing up, transition to group discussion time with a short prayer, then open by asking people to share what that experience was like, if they feel comfortable.

REAL WITH SELF: Take a minute to really examine the motives behind what you do. Is it duty, recognition, serving God, love of people, etc? What are you focusing on that might not matter in the long run?

REAL WITH SELF: What do you think might happen if you took a moment to slow down and just stop for a few hours? Take an inventory—what do you need physically, emotionally or spiritually?

REAL WITH GOD: Shame and pride can often make us disconnect from God’s love for us. Read Psalm 86:5 (NLT). Allow the words to sink in—that God loves us for who we are, not for what we do. What would it look like in your life if you lived/operated out of a place firmly grounded in that truth? How might that affect your work, your relationships?

REAL WITH OTHERS: How are you connecting with God and with others? What are some other ways that you can connect with them other than serving or helping?

REAL WITH OTHERS: Shame and pride can also make us disconnect from others when we need it most, making it difficult to ask for help; share with the group some practical areas where you could use help in this season of life. How can the group help meet those needs?

TAKE ACTION: Invite a Two over for dinner, for games or even just to go walking together. Be intentional about building into them for who they are, not for what they do. Let this be an opportunity for you to show God’s love for them. As you think about this step, share with the group who comes to mind? What is your plan for making this happen? (Feel free to send that person a text right now to initiate this!)