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The Gift of a Godly Marriage

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. EPHESIANS 5:21-33 NIV

In a Christian marriage, both the husband and the wife are valued

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, EPHESIANS 5:23a NIV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her EPHESIANS 5:25 NIV

In a Christian marriage, the couple sees themselves as one

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, people have never hated their own bodies, but they feed and care for them, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” EPHESIANS 5:28-31 NIV

In a Christian marriage, you voluntarily submit to each other to honor Jesus

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. EPHESIANS 5:21-22 NIV

In a Christian marriage, the husband finds ways to love his wife like Jesus

In a Christian marriage, the wife finds ways to respect and honor her husband like she honors Jesus

To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband. EPHESIANS 5:33 HCSB

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few minutes to slow down, surrendering to Jesus and burdens from your day. Invite God into this time as you consider your views or experiences with marriage. When we read that submission is central to a healthy marriage (both for men and for women), what obstacles present themselves? How can you use Jesus’ model of submission to the Father as motivation for first submitting to God, and second, submitting to your spouse? Are there any differences between the two of you that have caused friction? How can you instead learn to celebrate these differences? Lastly, ask God to help you see any particular fears that your spouse may have, especially during times of conflict. How can you lovingly reassure instead of provoke these fears? Ask God to help you be more gentle and loving, respectful and submissive—first to Him and then to your spouse. Close your time by thanking Jesus for His incredible sacrifice for you and for His church. Ask Him to fill you with His power this week to be a loving spouse.

Discussion Questions

  1. PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin group time by completing the Personal Reflection Guide, (link found on the top of sermon notes). Use this time to examine your role in your marriage. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
  2. REAL WITH SELF: Why do you think so many young people have such a negative view of marriage? How have your personal experiences with marriage affected your view?
  3. REAL WITH SELF: Describe a time when you felt honored by someone else. What did that person do to honor you? How did that make you feel? How can we work to show honor to our spouse so he or she can experience the same blessings?
  4. REAL WITH GOD: The way you worship God should affect the way you relate to each other. How is your relationship to your spouse or other significant relationships in your life a reflection of your worship?
  5. REAL WITH OTHERS: “Same” makes us weaker; “different” makes us stronger. What are some of the strengths your spouse exhibits that you admire? If you are single, what are some complementary strengths that you would seek out in a spouse?
  6. TAKE ACTION: Marriage is extremely hard work. It is ok to struggle, but it’s not ok to stay stuck. If your marriage needs help, consider working with a counselor to help you learn how to love and respect your spouse, working out your differences in a way that honors your spouse and God. For a list of counselors, visit move.sc/counselingreferrals.