Trust God where I am
I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. 1 CORINTHIANS 7:7-9 NLT
Accept that dating and marriage should be a challenge
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. PROVERBS 31:10-12 NLT
When dating, reserve sex for marriage
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. HEBREWS 13:4 ESV
- Evaluate emotional health(PROVERBS 17:22)
- Look for spiritual compatibility (2 CORINTHIANS 6:14)
- Observe integrity and loyalty (PROVERBS 10:9)
- Watch how they work (2 THESSALONIANS 3:11)
When married, work at creating time for sexual intimacy
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 CORINTHIANS 7:5 NLT
- 1, The Reformer: Create lists together and make sure the important stuff is done
- 2, The Helper: Join them in serving others and find ways to serve their needs
- 3, The Achiever: Celebrate their dreams and encourage them to get real
- 4, The Individualist: Embrace their emotional passion and need for reflection
- 5, The Observer: Do things that expand the mind and are excellent
- 6, The Loyalist: Protect the home and declare your love and loyalty for them
- 7, The Enthusiast: Be spontaneous and fun, join them on an adventure
- 8, The Challenger: Verbally compliment their raw strength and desire to protect
- 9, The Peacemaker: Create time and space for rest, relaxation and connection
Create safe spaces for honest conversation and feedback
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. PROVERBS 27:6 NLT
Finds ways to spiritually connect
- Attend church together
- Serve God together on a team
- Join or start a community group together
- Pray together
Learn more about the enneagram and find out your styles at sandalschurch.com/enneagram
My Notes
Personal Reflection Guide
Check out the home tab of the Sandals Church app for a weekly personal reflection guide and more helpful resources!
Discussion Questions
- What would you say are some of the pros and cons of being single and being married?
- Read Proverbs 17:22. What words would you use to describe your personal health right now? In what ways might a healthier you lead to healthier relationships?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:7-9. In what practical ways do you have to trust God for what he has called you to right now in your singleness or in your marriage?
- Read Hebrews 13:4. When you dated (or if you are currently dating), in what ways does (or did) your view of sex outside of marriage line up with God’s and what have been the practical results of your views or behaviors?
- Read Proverbs 27:6. When have you experienced a spouse, partner or close friend share a hard truth with you that saved you from a disaster? How did you react at the time?
- What are some of the things you do (or could do) to create safe spaces for your spouse or others to share honestly or more regularly with you?
