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How Jesus Heals Relational Wounds

He had to go through Samaria on the way. Eventually he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar, near the field that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.” He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food. The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” JOHN 4:4-10 NLT

Jesus offers me a different kind of drink

Jesus wants you to experience his love. He never leaves.

Jesus listens to my concerns and questions

“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?” JOHN 11-12 NLT

Jesus gives me hope, even when I have been hurt so many times

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.” But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.” “Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her. “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband— for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” JOHN 4:13-18 NLT

Jesus teaches me how to have a real relationship with God

“Sir,” the woman said, “you must be a prophet. So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim it is here at Mount Gerizim, where our ancestors worshiped?” Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” JOHN 4:19-24 NLT

Jesus invites me to trust Him

The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus told her, “I AM the Messiah!” JOHN 4:25-26 NLT

Two steps to begin the relational healing process:

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in. REVELATION 3:20 NLT

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” MATTHEW 11:28-30 NLT

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few minutes to slow down, laying the burdens of your day at the feet of Jesus. As you do, invite God into this time, asking him to help you be real with yourself and him as you reflect on past hurts and disappointments you’ve experienced. Recall a painful relationship you’ve had in the past. As you consider that person’s brokenness and compare it with God’s perfection, confess any distorted views of God you may have allowed this person to contribute to. Reflect on the truth that God’s love for you is as great as the heavens are above the earth (Psalm 103:11). What feelings surface as you reflect on this, and how does this help you deal with the memories of this painful relationship? Finally, ask God for a more accurate view of him and of yourself, and that you would learn to see yourself more and more as he sees you. Write down your thoughts in the space below, sharing with your group if you feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions

  1. PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin group time by completing the Personal Reflection Guide, found on the sermon notes. Use this time to process your own experiences in trusting God. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
  2. REAL WITH SELF: When we elevate things or people too highly, we only end up disappointed. Is there another “well” that you keep going back to for fulfillment: career, family, friends? How has that affected you in the short and long term?
  3. SELF: As you look at the different aspects of your life, to what extent does your happiness depend on what’s around you rather than what’s within you?
  4. REAL WITH GOD: We’ve all been hurt by people and can tend to place some degree of blame on God as a result. As you consider the importance that God is Spirit (and not human), how can that radically affect your ability to trust him?
  5. REAL WITH OTHERS: Oftentimes when we’re hurt by someone, we can tend to internalize the pain, thinking that there must be something wrong with us—and then, like the woman at the well, we isolate ourselves from others. How could things be different if you were to trust Jesus with your relational wounds? What would that look like?
  6. TAKE ACTION: Read John 4:10 NLT. When you consider Jesus as the source of real life, what hurts do you need to empty yourself of? Sin? Bitterness? Anger or rage? Feeling overlooked? Being lied to? What steps can you take this week to surrender these things to Jesus?