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How Being Real Makes You Safe

Then Saul took three thousand chosen men out of all Israel and went to seek David and his men in front of the Wildgoats’ Rocks. And he came to the sheepfolds by the way, where there was a cave, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the innermost parts of the cave. And the men of David said to him, “Here is the day of which the Lord said to you, ‘Behold, I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it shall seem good to you.’” Then David arose and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. And afterward David’s heart struck him, because he had cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord’s anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord’s anointed.” 1 SAMUEL 24:2-6 ESV

Commit to an authentic life

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. PROVERBS 10:9 ESV
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. PROVERBS 12:19 ESV
Afterward David also arose and went out of the cave, and called after Saul, “…see the corner of your robe in my hand. For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you hunt my life to take it. May the Lord judge between me and you…” 1 SAMUEL 24:8,11-12 ESV

Keep promises even when it hurts

Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous …who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind. PSALM 15:1-2,4 NIV
Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give. PROVERBS 25:14 ESV
And Saul lifted up his voice and wept. He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. 1 SAMUEL 24:17 ESV

Keep it 100

Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.” PROVERBS 24:29 ESV
The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. All day long he craves and craves, but the righteous gives and does not hold back. PROVERBS 21:25-26 ESV
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. JOHN 15:13 NLT

Community Group Discussion Guide

  1. It’s said that 80% of people lie – even to their doctor. What are some reasons people don’t share openly with those they know are both trustworthy and necessary for a healthy life?
  2. What is it about being inauthentic that makes life unstable or unsafe?
  3. Read Proverbs 10:9. What do you think it is about living an authentic life or being real that lets you walk through life safely?
  4. Read Psalm 15:1-4. Share a time when you kept a promise even though it hurt you. What were the short-term and long-term results?
  5. Read Proverbs 12:19. When has lying about who you are or what you feel seemed good at one time but later turned out badly?
  6. What motivates you to be inauthentic and what can you do to overcome that in order to live a life of being real?
  7. What would you like more about yourself or your life if you lived it more authentically?

Personal Reflection Guide

Find a place where you can quietly come before God with your thoughts and take a few moments to put the cares of the day away. Then, ponder what the word authentic means to you. What ideas come to mind when you consider the virtue of integrity? Are there certain people you associate with authenticity and integrity? What is it about them that makes you feel safe around them? Ask God what these traits look like in your own life and to reveal areas in which you are not fully authentic or honest around others. Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy,” so ask him how he desires to make you a more trustworthy, safe person. He longs for us to be like his son, Jesus, and Jesus shows us what the ultimate safe person looks like so we have an example to follow. Find some time this week to ask a person you feel safe around how they think you could practice more authenticity and integrity in your relationships with others and thank them for their honesty with you.

My Notes