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Healing from Sexual Brokenness

Admit that we are all sexually broken

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 1 PETER 2:11 NIV

Listen to God’s wisdom when it comes to sex

My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. PROVERBS 5:1-5 NIV

This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.” PROVERBS 30:20 ESV

With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. PROVERBS 7:21-23 NIV

Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words. PROVERBS 2:16 NIV

Make a decision to honor God sexually

Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel. PROVERBS 5:8-9 NIV

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. PROVERBS 25:28 ESV

Celebrate sex within the context of marriage

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Have open and honest conversations about sex:

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths. PROVERBS 5:18-21 NIV

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. PROVERBS 18:22 ESV

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments to slow down, laying aside any burdens from the day. When you consider the way the world views sex, how has that affected you personally? As you reflect on your personal exposure to sex, what feelings surface? If you feel guilt or shame, bring these to God, asking him to cover these with his grace and forgiveness. Next, reflect on Proverbs 4:23 NIV: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” What would it look like to guard your heart from the lies that influence your belief about sex? Whether you are single or married, ask God to show you what your sexual life could look like if you were to learn from his wisdom and follow it. Write down your reflections in the space below, sharing during the breakout time if you feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions

LEADERS’S NOTE: Even if your group is not in the habit of doing the Personal Reflection Guide, please begin this week’s group time by reading and reflecting on the Reflection Guide, (link found on the top of sermon notes). Use this time to examine how the world’s view of sex has influenced your life. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)

  1. REAL WITH OTHERS: How did you first learn about sex? (If you have a funny story, this might be a great time to share!)
  2. REAL WITH SELF: What is it like to know that everyone is sexually broken (it’s not just you)?
  3. LEADER’S NOTE: At this time, have the group split (male/female) for these next set of questions. After you have split up, begin by having someone pray that God’s spirit would move us toward healing, and that we as a group would receive each other with grace.
  4. Proverbs says that sexual sin “drips with honey”. Where have you fallen in love with the sweetness of sexual sin?
  5. Proverbs says we shouldn’t even “go near the door of her house”. What situations (or ways of thinking) do you need to stay away from? What specific boundaries do you need to set up for yourself? What are some boundaries that you have set that may be a help to others?
  6. TAKE ACTION: Take a bold step to have a real conversation with someone about sex this week. Be willing to share honestly and openly with someone you trust. If you are single, talk with a trusted friend who loves Jesus, or a pastor, about your sexual brokenness and/or struggles. If you are married, set aside intentional time this week to talk with your spouse about sex: specifically any unconfessed sin, as well as listing what you want/don’t want, what you are willing/unwilling to do, etc. (For reference, see the sermon notes.)