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Building Friendships When you Feel Lonely

Barriers to friendship

Social media isolates me socially

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. PROVERBS 18:1 ESV

Mobility makes me unavailable and unreliable

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. PSALMS 46:1 ESV

Politics has made us all a little crazy

People are scary

How to build lasting friendships

I must first become a friendly person

A man who has friends must himself be friendly… PROVERBS 18:24a NKJV

Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts. PROVERBS 19:6 ESV

Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend. PROVERBS 22:11 NLT

I must pursue friendship with good people

A good person helps me be a better person

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. PROVERBS 27:17 NLT

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. PROVERBS 18:24 ESV

A good person helps me to see the truth even if it hurts

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. PROVERBS 27:6 ESV

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. PROVERBS 27:9 NLT

A good person helps me to stand when I have fallen

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 NLT

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. PROVERBS 17:17 NLT

A good person celebrates with me in my success

Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind. ECCLESIASTES 4:4 NLT

I need to protect my friendships

An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars. PROVERBS 18:19 NLT

By never gossiping about them

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. PROVERBS 18:24 NLT

By keeping money out of our relationship

It’s poor judgment to guarantee another person’s debt or put up security for a friend. PROVERBS 17:18 NLT

I need to build friendships with people who are friends with God

The LORD is a friend to those who fear him. He teaches them his covenant. PSALMS 25:14 NLT

I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning. 2 JOHN 1:5 NLT

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. REVELATION 3:20 NLT

My Notes

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments to slow down, releasing any burdens from the day. Invite God into this time, asking him to help you be more real with yourself and him as you examine your friendships. When you consider your current friendships, are there any topics or issues that you are either ignoring or magnifying? How can you take steps to either confront (if you are ignoring) or offer grace (if you are magnifying)? Ask God to show you what a loving friend would do in these situations. Then, ask God to reveal what kind of a friend you are to others. As God reveals these, pray through them and ask God to show you how to be a better friend. Close your time by thanking Jesus for being a true friend to you, and ask him for greater awareness of his friendship in your life. Write your reflections in the space below, sharing with them your group if you feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions

  1. PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin group time by completing the Personal Reflection Guide, (link found on the top of sermon notes). Use this time to examine your friendships with both God and others. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
  2. REAL WITH SELF: Of the four barriers to friendship (social media, our mobility, politics, and the fear of people), how have you seen these things limit friendships in your life? Is there anything you need to change to remove a barrier?
  3. REAL WITH SELF: What relational lessons didn’t you learn as a kid that you need to take ownership for now? How will you go about that?
  4. REAL WITH GOD: In what way does your mobility inhibit your ability to be present to God?
  5. REAL WITH OTHERS: Insecurity destroys friendships. How can we become more secure in our friendship with Jesus? How might this affect our relationships with others?
  6. TAKE ACTION: Read John 13:35 NLT Who needs to be invited into community so they can better know Jesus? What steps can you take this week to invite them in?