Becoming Real With Others

6 Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. 7 Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.” 8 He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food.
9 The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?”
10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
11 “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? 12 And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”
13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. 14 But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
15 “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”
16 “Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.
17 “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.
Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband– 18 for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”
19 “Sir,” the woman said, “you must be a prophet. 20 So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim it is here at Mount Gerizim, where our ancestors worshiped?”
21 Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem.
22 You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. 23 But the time is coming–indeed it’s here now–when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. 24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” JOHN 4:6-24 NLT

Real Christian Relationships Require:

Self awareness

And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. MATTHEW 7:3-6 NLT

Healthy spiritual community

Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. MATTHEW 7:1-3 NLT

Grace and love for people

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. EPHESIANS 4:2 NLT

The truth to be spoken

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. EPHESIANS 4:25 NLT
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. EPHESIANS 4:15 NLT

Opportunities for confession

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 1 JOHN 1:8 NLT
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. JAMES 5:16 NLT

Community Group Discussion Guide

  1. What amazed you the most about Jesus’ very real conversation with the woman at the well?
  2. What would that conversation look like with you? What uncomfortable area might he want to discuss?
  3. Jesus’ motive is not to judge her but to set her free. How can your group be a place where people can be set free?
  4. How often is confession a part of your group? What could you do to make a normal part of group?
  5. Is there anything that needs to change in your group to make people more comfortable with being real?
  6. Often in group you will have an encouragement or challenge for someone. What steps can the group take to encourage people to speak truth in love to each other?

Personal Reflection Guide

Confession is never easy. Even more difficult can be to know what to confess. Take a few minutes to be still with God and ask him to reveal to you what area(s) of your heart that he would like to open. Ask him some questions like: “Lord, what are some of the deeper things that you want to draw out of my heart? What would it look like for me to make a good confession to another?” When you’re done, make a plan to connect with someone for confession and close with thanking God for your time together.

My Notes