My desires for my sexuality are personal; God’s desires for my sexuality are spiritual.
With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:17-24 NLT
Sex uniquely creates oneness.
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Matthew 19:4-6 NLT
God created sex for:
- Physical comfort
- Emotional intimacy
- Spiritual union
Sinful sex creates:
- Physical disease
- Emotional insecurity
- Spiritual confusion
Sexual sin destroys my intimacy with God
They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality… Ephesians 4:19 ESV
Sexual sin diverts me off the best path for my life
Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives… Ephesians 4:18 NLT
Sexual sin can disconnect me eternally from God
For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Ephesians 5:5 ESV
…But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Ephesians 5:3 ESV
Be careful about what you allow to entertain you
Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. Ephesians 5:4 NLT
Pray about what you participate in
Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. Ephesians 5:6-7 NLT
How to live out a different sexuality as a Christian:
- Teenagers—if you cannot manage friendships you are not ready for a relationship.
- Married couples—have a conversation about physical comfort, emotional intimacy, and spiritual union.
- Parents—talk to your kids about sex before they hear about it at school.
- Single Adults—Jesus my not want you to be married, but he does want you to be sexually pure.
- LGBTQ—change the “plus” in LGBTQ+ to a cross.
My Notes
Personal Reflection Guide
Take a few minutes to slow down, offering to God any burdens from your day. Invite Him into this time, asking Him to help open your heart to anything He might want to reveal to you now. As you consider your sexual patterns (both past and present), how have you experienced the correlation between following God’s plan for your sexuality and the level of intimacy you experience with Him? As you reflect, ask God to reveal any patterns of thought, any areas where your “intake” might be affecting your closeness with Him. Does anything need to change? Are there any filters you need to put in place as it relates to what you let in to your heart and mind? Lastly, when you consider that God created sex for physical comfort, emotional intimacy, and spiritual union; but sinful sex creates physical disease, emotional insecurity, and spiritual confusion; what could true sexual freedom look like for you? Spend time journaling your thoughts below, sharing with a spouse or someone you trust when you have opportunity.
Discussion Questions
- PERSONAL REFLECTION: Begin group time by completing the Personal Reflection Guide, (link found on the top of sermon notes). Use this time to examine the ways our views on sexuality affect the closeness we feel with God. (Tip: playing some soft background music is helpful here!)
- REAL WITH GOD: What we take in (entertainment, social media, humor, etc.) forms us whether we are aware of it or not. In what ways have you seen that affect our intimacy with God and others?
- REAL WITH SELF: When we consider the notion that heaven’s model of love is expressed through sacrifice, what do you need to sacrifice in order to love better? What obstacles keep you from doing that regularly?
- REAL WITH GOD: Read Ephesians 4:17-24 NLT. Our hearts and our influences can tend to be corrupted by the world’s lust and deception; what practices can you put in place to help renew your thoughts and attitudes?
- REAL WITH OTHERS: The world won’t want to become like us until we become something different, attractive and something the world wants to be a part of; when you look at the ways you communicate God’s definition of love to those around you, what have you found to be particularly effective or compelling?
- TAKE ACTION: Take an assessment of the conversations you need to have this week about physical comfort, emotional intimacy and spiritual union. If you are married, set aside time with your spouse to discuss how your sexuality impacts these areas. If you are single, take time to pray and journal through God’s plan for these areas in your life and take a step toward becoming real with someone else.
