5. The Observer

There was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee. After dark one evening, he came to speak with Jesus. “Rabbi,” he said, “we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.”
“What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?” Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life.So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”
“How are these things possible?” Nicodemus asked.
Jesus replied, “You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don’t understand these things? I assure you, we tell you what we know and have seen, and yet you won’t believe our testimony. But if you don’t believe me when I tell you about earthly things, how can you possibly believe if I tell you about heavenly things? No one has ever gone to heaven and returned. But the Son of Man has come down from heaven. And as Moses lifted up the bronze snake on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life.“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” JOHN 3:1-16 NLT

The Observer reflects God’s wisdom

Basic Motivations of the Observer

• Gain knowledge
Uncover truth
• Avoid incompetence

When Healthy

Remains calm and focused in decisions and processing
Very thoughtful and their knowledge in multiple areas makes them incredibly perceptive
Insightful and observant, desiring for the world to be a less chaotic and more organized place

When Unhealthy

Shifts from being observant to detached
Doesn’t engage emotionally or socially in healthy ways
Need to avoid incompetence can cause them to withdraw completely from the world around them

Core Sin: Greed/stinginess

Time, Emotions, Knowledge, Money
The healthy five is always in pursuit of generosity
With him came Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus at night. He brought about seventy-five pounds of perfumed ointment made from myrrh and aloes. Following Jewish burial custom, they wrapped Jesus’ body with the spices in long sheets of linen cloth. JOHN 19:39-40 NLT

How the Five Needs to be Real:

With Self

I need to get out of my head and in touch with my feelings

With Others

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom. PROVERBS 18:1 NASB

With God

…Always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. *2 TIMOTHY 3:7 NASB *

How to love a Five

  1. Acknowledge their need for personal space and time
  2. Express how much it means to you when they engage
  3. Don’t criticize how they have fun
  4. Utilize their knowledge and wisdom

Prayer for the 5

God, help me to connect my heart to yours. Help me to feel more deeply and to embrace the mystery of who you are. Help me to have grace for people who are incompetent and change my heart on community groups!

Community Group Discussion Guide

  1. In what ways do you identify with the 5 personality style?
  2. How can your group encourage people in your lives who struggle to engage?
  3. Godly wisdom comes from knowing about God and truly experiencing him. How can we learn from the 5 personality style to grow in wisdom?
  4. People with the 5 personality style often display wisdom. How might they better contribute to your group when navigating tough issues?
  5. Read and consider John 19:39-40. How can we all follow Nicodemus’ example of generosity?
  6. Are there any specific practices that have been helpful for you to pursue generosity instead of greed?

Personal Reflection Guide

Take a few moments out of your day and sit with God. Jeremiah writes: This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it… “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV). The God who made the universe is the God who teaches us. The God who holds both the universe and the atom together also holds your heart, and none of it is a mystery to him. Spend a few moments and allow yourself to experience what it is like to be deeply known by him. What does it feel like to be present with him in this space? Sometime during this next week, share what you have learned with someone you trust.

My Notes